Okay, so on to why I put the title of this entry as I did...when I started this journey, it was pretty much a snap decision. Of course I had been wanting to do it for a long time, had planned off and on some things to get me back on track, etc, but I didn't really jump into it until I revisited Adam's blog and decided to have daily accountability. And from then on it was something I worked on every day and plan to continue (obviously), and as I said earlier, it seems to be getting easier.
So how do I translate this to other areas of my life?
I have trouble sticking to any plan I make for myself in any other part of my life: financial, career, household...I am a planner, I can really easily break things down and see what needs to be done daily to work toward a goal, and I do it for a week or so, but I am never dedicated enough to see it through to getting the goal achieved. Thus I have a lot of disappointment (in myself) in life. I am big in thinking and small in action. Self-discipline, motivation, I don't know what you call it, I am seriously lacking in it. And it's really becoming an issue. I have so many goals and I am so tired of missing them again and again and again and AGAIN. Let's take the biggest one for an example - to promote myself in my in-home business. It is a sales business and I know exactly how many people I need to meet, calls I need to make, bookings I need to hold, product I need to sell, etc to get to my goals. The numbers are quite clear and well tested in my company. So why don't I do what I say I want to do? Every day I think about it and think about it and do very little. Some days are better than others. But I rarely do all of the things I should do in a given day, and even more rarely do I repeat those actions daily like I know I need to in order to achieve my result. And now with this body transformation mission, I have proven to myself that I am capable of taking daily action and getting results, but it has not traslated to other things as I thought it might have. What am I doing wrong? I thought it was maybe the accountability factor - but I have several people who I talk to daily and weekly who are tracking me and that doesn't seem to help. I just keep letting them (and myself) down over and over. It is beyond frustrating. I have this dream in my heart and my head won't do what I need to achieve it. Why not? Part of it is fear I know. With the weight loss, I really have no fears, nothing to lose (except fat!) and everything to gain. Also, I guess, because I have done it before, I am insulated by the fact that I know that it is achievable personally for me since I have been there. And this goal in my career, I haven't been there, only part way and slid back, and I have stupid irrational fears about a lot of things. I guess the main one is of hearing "no" which is dumb because I have heard it a million times and it really doesn't bother me when I think back, and I really don't care what strangers think of me, so what if they tell me no? But for some reason when I think about making phone calls or going out to meet people, I get really nervous and my mind finds other things to do that take up the time I would use to do that so then I can say "oh, I didn't have time". It makes no sense to me. Why am I self sabotaging so much? What is it about this transformation journey that makes me able to do it that I can use in other areas of my life to achieve other goals? A different kind of accountability? Some other approach I have not thought of? I need to figure out something soon and decide how to apply it everywhere because I am really having a lot of trouble. Pretty much the only things that are going right in my life right now are my marriage and this program. And actually even my marriage is a little strained because of my career and financial issues. So getting to the bottom of this would solve a lot of problems for me. I know this is kind of off topic, but I think these journeys we are on are more about self improvement overall than any one fitness goal. Maybe there are others with similar issues since we all seemed to have similar mindsets before we began this.
Has anyone been able to use what they have learned about the discipline of this program in other aspects of their life?
I welcome any insight you all have, you can comment or email me. I am getting pretty desperate and honestly if something doesn't change by the end of the year, I will have to go back to a full time desk job and that would really kill me. Thanks in advance for any advice you can offer.
P.S. Here's the day 31 pics
4 comments:
I have been thinking about this and I think that is what it comes down to...what we are thinking!! I posted a quote a couple of times yesterday, "whether you think you can or whether you think you can't, you are right" This of course is true for all areas of your life. If you truly believe in yourself or what you are doing the "Fear" or whatever is holding you back will not have any hold on you because that belief will outweigh the fear. Don't procrastinate!!! I know this, too, from experience. the more you "think" about doing something the more you fear doing that thing. Just Do! As Adam would say, "take massive action!"
here is something I just got off an email i received today.
To achieve your greatest aspirations, you must draw on that inner-reserve of power that comes from nurturing a positive self-image and can-do attitude—and dead-stop all that negative chatter that is going on between you and your future.
ok well, ponder on that and i'll check back with you later.
Hey Suzette, thanks for the advice. I try to be as positive as I can about the whole situation but I do get in my own way a lot. The thinking is very bad, that's for sure. Then it seems like when I stop thinking and get to action it's too late. I'll keep working at it though, and also let everyone know how things are going. Thanks again!
-JP
Hi Joni!
Several years ago, I decided I wanted to change my life. I was working FT corporate job, in a 7-year lackluster relationship with my BF and living in NJ. I finally decided I needed to go after what I REALLY wanted out of life.
What worked for me? The first step is WRITING down EXACTLY what you want - your DREAM life - don't hold back. Write down everything you want until you can't write anymore. Then put a timeline on each one. Then pick your top four and write down 1) what resources you have to obtain them, 2) what's holding you back 3) how you can overcome any obstacles and 4) what you need to succeed. Read them several times per day. Post them all around your house. Do something every day towards achieving them, even if it's something small. "When the mind has a defined target, it can focus & direct & refocus & redirect until it reaches it's intended goal."
I've since quit my FT job, opened my own yoga studio, sold it after 4 years at a profit, got out of a dead-end relationship, moved to Kauai and am living my dream life! It was hard to break out of my comfort zones/old scripts (i.e. "I need a job to pay the bills", "what if I can't find another BF", etc.) but now in retrospect I'm so glad I did! My only regret is not doing it sooner.
Forgive me if I'm way off, but it sounds like you're really not happy with your current job. What do you REALLY REALLY REALLY want to do? You CAN do it! Check out some of Anthony Robbins books/cds from the library also NLP. Tom Venuto is big into NLP.
I just read this post. I relate strongly to what you wrote. I, too, had the same problem. For me the formula was:
Plan + Expectation of result = Procrastination.
I just know that my plans would start out alright and then would go from hey, I can do that and tomorrow's work tomorrow to I can't bear to even get out of bed, because I didn't do all this stuff.
The positive thinking/affirmation thing and being tied to a deadline and all that stuff really just stopped working little by little. It works for MILLIONS of people. And yet, I used the tools of being positive like affirmations to suppress and deny my feelings. Feelings that were telling me really important things like, Hey knock it off. Hey I actually have only talked myself into liking that. Hey these goals are sucking the fun out of doing ANYTHING.
For me, I've got to dig where I'm at and not be tied to any results. I can dream and visualize, but setting expectations and dictating how things are going to be is not where I'm at. To use a catchphrase, I just try to "Let go and let God."
Flat out. I do my best to dig where I'm at. Even when it's "not doing" some sort of goal-centered thing. I say to myself, "Wow. Look at this, I thought I was gonna be making all those calls today, but apparently I'm supposed to be watching tv."
At first it was scary, but over time, I've built up a stronger Faith. And without the pressure of what's gonna happen or what I want to happen if I make a sales call or get a promotion or whatnot, it was easy to "just do" stuff like people keep trying to get me to do. It's nutty. It's not like I've got it down, but I do feel stuff getting easier. And when they're hard, I don't kick myself.
I think you're onto a piece of it with the potato wedge principal.
One day, I'd like to let go of any goals at all, and have utter Faith in every moment. But then, that day is obviously far off, because that sounds kind of like a goal. lol
This was ramblely. It's hard to describe, but maybe it'll mean something or part of it will strike a thought of something that will get to some kind of insight.
Now this was way rambly.
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