Thursday, March 6, 2008

Day 144 - Reflecting...

As any regular visitors might have noticed, I have changed the title and layout of my blog. This is to reflect the changes that have taken place in my life since the beginning of this journey, which has become so much more than a physique transformation. I was thinking today about the last 5 months and what has changed not just on the outside of me, but most importantly, on the inside. I have always been "into" personal growth, so change is kind of a the only constant with me, but this time something has really latched on inside of me that tells me that, no matter what happens, I will never again give up on anything important to me. Knowing that you once were something that you no longer are but want to be is a very depressing feeling in my book. I have always said that I want to live my life with no regrets, but honestly, the past few years have been surrounded with regrets of things I should have done, things I could have done. So no more. My biggest fear used to be waking up one day five years from now, not having achieved anything that I have set as a goal for myself. But now, I know that will not happen because no matter how many times I fail, I will never stop trying. And as long as I keep trying, I will one day succeed.
Here's the original profile that I had posted on my blog until today. When I read it today, it just sounded sad to me, and it really demonstrates how I used to think about myself. May I never think this way again:
"I am an enigma even to myself. But for the sake of better understanding, I am a 29 year old Mary Kay beauty consultant looking for the real me hiding beneath layers of fat, guilt, and fear. Hopefully in this blog I can really let myself out and figure out how to get from here to where I want to be."

Well I'm not where I want to be yet, but thank God I'm not where I used to be.

P.S. Who knows what the new title of my blog means?
P.P.S Please update your blog link titles (if necessary) for H.I.P.S. is no longer what I am about (in more ways than one, get it?)!! :)

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

awesome, Joni! love the new look and the new you! I had similar thoughts on my blog post today. This hasn't so much been about an outward, physical change but an inward, mind change. The outward changes don't happen until we change on the inside! We will never "get there". there is always room for improvement.
Great title - meaning "seven times down, 8 times up." "perserverence" "never give up"

KaliLilla.com said...

Cool blog look!!

Adam Waters said...

G'day Joni, diggin' your new layout! I totally agree with your sentiment today, the transformation that takes place on the "inside" is the main driver in how we look on the "outside"

Shred on,
See you soon!

Debbie said...

Hi Joni,

No more pink? I like the new blog! I don't know what the title means, though.

Debbie

Christina said...

Hi Joni,

Is the title Japanese? (That's very cool that you know Japanese!)

Brava, girlie! Change can be really good! And throw out that dang scale...it's no indication of progress. Your attitude sure is tho~

Keep on shredding!