A lot of today was spent trying to figure out what I want to do with my life. No lie. It is something that I have been struggling with lately - one of the issues I have been dealing with on these problem days you may have seen for me. I don't really want to get into details here, but suffice it to say I can see myself doing so many more and varied things than I do now that I can't even decide where to start. Does that make any sense? You'd think an almost-30 year old woman would have decided some of these things by now, but by nature I am what I refer to as a "jumper", meaning I jump from one thing to another a lot and never really see one thing through. So I have been trying to not be that way lately, trying to finish what I have started and follow through on projects, etc, but the itch to jump is coming up really strong in me these days and I really just want to leave the mess and start something fresh. And I guess that's really why I jump, is because I get excited about something new (I love the planning and setup stages) and then when it comes to execution, I get bored easily. I get in the midst of something and it gets more difficult or just not as exciting and I don't want to deal with the discipline of finishing it up. Sad to say, but that's how I am. I don't know why I am this way, but my mother is as well so I guess it's hereditary. Not that it is an excuse, but I am really trying to make myself more disciplined because I have a TON of unfinished projects that I am basically scared to look at because they will take so much monotonous work to complete. I have such a short attention span I swear. Anyway, not that you all wanted to know about that, but that's what my day was like. Just drifting between wanting to jump and telling myself all the reasons I should not. Physique transformation is the same way for a lot of people, though, I guess is my point, because in the beginning it's new and exciting, you see changes and everything is going according to plan. Then you get in the middle of things and you just get tired - tired of eating the same things, tired of exercising hard, tired of saying no to things you used to say yes to, tired of explaining to your friends and family what you are doing and why. And so what separates the ones who succeed is whether you choose to stick it out and bear the pain of discipline, or jump and live the pain of regret. It's your choice, and the end results are easy to see. So I guess what that means for me is, I know I can stick to something because I have done it with this body. It was a mess and it's not all the way cleaned up, but the worst really is over and I am seeing it through to completion. And so it is with the other looming projects all around me. If I want the results bad enough, I will be able to buckle down and focus on making it through the day to day, until I begin to see the light. And where that light is, success waits for me.
| DAY 44 OF 56 | NOTES: | POINTS: |
|---|
| Meal #1? | 8a - protein shake
| 1 |
| Meal #2? | 12p - "free" meal
| 1 |
| Meal #3? | 3p - mango
| 1 |
| Meal #4? | 6p - wheat pasta
| 1 |
| Meal #5? | 9p - nuts
| 1 |
| Meal #6? | none
| 1 |
| Water? | 96 oz - 16 oz/meal
| 1
|
| Weights or Rest? | rest
| 1 |
| Cardio or Rest? | Total Body Ten
| 1
|
| Sleep? | 7-8 hrs | 1 |
| Accountability? | pics, blog, chart
| 1 |
| Visualization? | 1 hr AVP
| 1 |
| Daily Score: | 12 of 12 |
| Cumulative: | 467 of 528 |
| Compliance: | 88.4%
|
200 Day Group Shred Time MachineSo for those of you who have not been following my journey from the beginning, I started blogging just a few days before the original Group Shred. I was 11 days into my first mission when it began, and in a totally different state of mind (and body!) than I am today. So I thought it would be nice for you (and me!) to be able to see (remember) how far I've come! Looking at the pics, the look on my face says it all, I think.
On this day 200 days ago I wrote this post...
Day 12/13 - Busy busy busy!Here is Adam's post for the day...
Day 353: RTP Group Shred, Day 2 - I'm Blown Away!And here is my picture from 200 days ago...boy, I'm so miserable it's almost comical...
8 comments:
Joni, I feel for you. You are in my prayers. I will pray God gives you direction and peace that you are doing the right thing.
"I enjoy life and peace, because I keep my mind fixed on the things of God. When
my life lacks peace, I refocus my mind on him and watch my peace be restored. " -
-Based on Isaiah 26:3
"The One who began a good work in me will see it through to completion.
Therefore, I don't feel stressed-out or disappointed when I see my weaknesses
and failures. I stay focused on God and trust the process. I believe I am well
on my way to enjoying maximum health in my spirit, soul, and body. --Based on
Phil. 1:6"
What star sign are you. That sounds just like me. you just have to go for what you really want and do it. Most people are afraid to change. My husband hates his job and I tell him everyday to quit. But its never that easy is it.
The whole regime of training and eating correctly does get boring but imagine how you'd feel if you just gave up. Soon you would be feeling even more dissapointed with yourself.
I really know how you feel as honestly thats how I feel most of the time. Full of ideas , starting projects and not always finishing them. You probably know deep down what you want to do but are maybe feeling a bit afraid to do it and afraid it may fail. You'll never know until you try it.
Bec
Joni, you obviously have what it takes. Just look at how you've stuck to this blogging thing. I get where your mind is at though. Let me know how I can help.
Joni!!! I relate so strongly to this post. If it's any consolation, I'm a jumper and tons of my friends are jumpers, except we call it being artists. Jump!!! Jump a lot!! Enjoy your jumping!! You can find jobs that are shorter and more varied and fun. Have you ever considered writing? Stand-up and writing saved my life. Short articles. Web sites. Jokes. Freelance artistic endeavors really suit JUMPERS. I've only figured this out at 35!! You're in your twenties, and you're actively figuring out what you like and don't. I think that's awesome. Also for the record, people who don't have follow through aren't black belts and can't regularly maintain blogs. So you've got tons of follow through and discipline. You just have more ideas than average, BECAUSE YOU'RE CREATIVE AND AWESOME!
Joni, deciding what you want to do with your life is not easy and doesn't necessarily take place before the age of 30! Trust me on that one.
Love seeing your time machine photos. You sure have come a long way!
Hi Joni,
This goes right to the heart of the type of person you are and you can find this out by answering mini questionairres such as the Belbin team roles. This tells you the type of person you are when working on projects. I cannot tell what you are but I can say you are probably not a completer / finisher, I will see if I can get a copy for you and will email it to you. But don't worry there are lots of people who do not like finishing things. Some things it's fine others you have to grit your teeth and do it and others like your transformation come quite naturally...
Take care,
Andrew
Joni, I say JUMP. And jump a lot until you get tired of jumping. You are young now and are free to do what you feel like. If not now, then when? Trust me, all of us jump, and sometimes we tell and sometimes not. Who says we have to finish everything? You just have to be true to yourself, and love the life you have. To the fullest. Don´t worry about details. Just live. And Shred.
Lynda
Suz - Thanks for the uplifting messages as always. I am slowly working through things hopefully and with God's help I will be more at peace sooner rather than later.
Bec - I am a sagittarius, but so is my husband and we are about polar opposites, so I don't know how much that helps...anyway, I am not afraid on change in one sense, but like you said, in another way, I am afraid to fail so that is definitely one of the things I am working through now. I fail by not even trying so I don't know what holds me back but it's just a daily struggle sometimes. And other times it's easier. A blessing and a curse, I guess, and I just need to work through it all. Thanks for your insight.
Michael - thanks, I will let you know. That is one of the frustrating things, though, that I can apply myself to some things and not to others and then also some things that I have been doing well at will all of a sudden fall apart for me and I don't have the same excitement about them. Don't know why...
Christy - wow, that's a great perspective on what I am going through. I never really thought about it like that, but that can be one way to handle it - embrace the madness! :) I am definitely creative, I know that much, it's just applying it where it will benefit me that's the hangup I guess. I actually love writing - I used to do it all the time but now the only writing I do is here on this blog. That is actually one of my "things" that I want to do - write a book. I used to be really good at short stories but that was about 10 years ago. Wouldn't know what to write about now...thanks for the ideas!
Debbie - I just feel like I should be somewhere in life by 30 but I guess it's all a journey, you never really "get" anywhere. Thanks for the compliment on the time machine - it does help me to look back at how far I've come, that's for sure!
Andrew - I would be interested in finding out more about that. I need a person who doesn't like to start or plan things and just likes to follow through so I can start things and they can finish them! That would be a great symbiotic relationship! Let me know if you can find anything out.
Lynda - another wonderful perspective. It is so interesting to see how different people approach this issue. I see it as a negative and yet others see it as positive and that helps to get a different outlook on it. I do like new things, sometimes I just feel like I should buckle down and stop being so wishy-washy. But like you said, when else am I going to have the freedom to try different things? Thanks for your interpretation of my "problem".
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