Day 25 - The end of the beginning!

Well it is morning here for me on Day 25 of 100 (1/4 of the way through!) and day 14 of the group shred. I thought I would do a quick update on yesterday and share a little about the shred, as it comes to a close. Yesterday I did antagonistic jump sets and fat loss circuit training in line with my second round of MS. I have been able to do the workouts pretty easy in this Level 1 version of the plan so I know that I'll be ready to go to the full program when Mission Two comes along because I am not pushing myself as hard as I could go. Part of that is my fault, because I could do more weight but I have just been testing the waters a little to see what each workout is like before I ramp it up seriously. When I looked at my goals at the top of the page, I have not reached all of them, but you know, I don't really care becuase I am working toward them and I have achieved a lot more intangible results that I could not have hoped for so overall I can't be disappointed. However, I haven't lost any weight in the past few days so maybe I should start working harder. I feel guilty because I know some of you out there are really going all out and I just have kind of been saving a little back to make it through the long haul. I guess that's okay. I love the group shred but at the same time I have my eye on the larger goal of getting through 100 days so I don't want to burn out. Anyway, still doing low carb, I have been good with that but I felt like I had a lot of fat yesterday. I know that I can have some but I don't want to go over calories so I can't have too many days like that. And I was craving something sweet in the evening so I made myself some sugar-free jello and added protein powder to it so it would have some nutritional value. It tasted great! I highly recommend it if you need a low carb dessert because there isn't much out there!
Today is a rest day and I am glad for it because my neck has been hurting for about 4 days now and I am not sure why but exercising definitely aggravates it so hopefully with a day off I can get over it. So not much going on today, technically my pics are a day ahead so I already took my day 14 picture so even if I did have a workout today it wouldn't count toward the shred. But I wish everyone out there good luck today, I'll be checking all the blogs to see the results, but I know this is only the beginning for most of us, I am so excited for the future! But I did want to post my comments that I put on Adam's blog here just in case someone who's not on the shred would be interested in it. Here's what I said:
Wow what to say about my experience so far...??? For me, it is actually hard to describe because I have struggled so much in this area and this shred has been, to be honest, pretty easy comparatively. I used to have such a mental battle ALL THE TIME, and I guess since so many are watching and counting on us to succeed, I just don't fight that battle as much, I just do what I know I need to do. Not that there aren't tough times, but before I just felt so stressed and guilty and down all the time and during these 14 days I have felt excited and uplifted. And when you are doing what you committed to do, you don't have the guilt because you are doing the right thing! And you think less about it because you aren't analyzing decisions you made or didn't make over and over again. Like I said, hard to explain, but the biggest change I see in myself is mental and I think that's the hardest battle we all fight. If we didn't have a mental struggle going on inside of us, we wouldn't have let ourselves go physically in the first place. We would eat what we know is healthy and exercise regularly like we all know we are supposed to do to just be a healthy person. Doing this together in a group is so much better than doing it alone. I mean, this has been proven because even if you look at a program like Weight Watchers, the people who go to meetings are MUCH more likely to succeed than those who don't but it's tough to put yourself out there in the beginning and admit you are out of control. And then to take the pictures and prove where you are starting from. That was my first obstacle. But after the decision to do it was made, it got easier all the time and I am so glad I did it because I can see such a difference that I wouldn't have given myself credit for. And really, although the first smile was a little forced, the ones after that did get bigger and bigger like you said because I really am happy to be doing what I am doing and I am proud of myself. People don't usually give themselves enough credit, like I think it was Mike was saying, we never acknowledge our own success in a healthy way, and I agree. I am usually the first one to wave off encouragement because I don't want to seem like I am vain but I really am proud of my accomplishment so far and I am looking forward to the next phase of this journey so I can keep giving myself reasons to be happy. So anyway, the best experience that I take away, and that I can tell other potential shredders, is to take the chance on yourself because you will learn that you can overcome the battle in your mind, stop feeling guilty, have the chance to do it alongside others who are going through the exact same things, and learn to love yourself and the journey. And that all happens in a very short period of time, you won't even believe how fast you can turn it around if you really commit!
Here's my Day 25 pics, I am putting my Day 24 in a separate post.
PS Check out my pic on Adam's blog, it's a little different than the one here!

Day 23 - Attempt at something new...

Day 13 of MS, Day 12 of Group Shred
So here is a video that I hope you all can see and hear. I thought it would be fun to try out so let me know if it works. It is about 12min long and not very good quality but oh well. It's also chopped up because I was trying to get everything in and I kept stopping and re-recording, so it's the best I could do. Maybe I'll get better at it but for now we'll see. Anyway, hope you can see it and enjoy it. See you soon!
Okay damn I can't see it can anyone else? I guess I'll put it on youtube...okay, youtube rejected me...it won't let anything over 10 min. This has been a learning experience for sure. I am going to cut it down or else do two smaller ones, not sure yet...to be continued...
Okay, I got it down under 10 minutes, it's uploading now so hopefully you'll be able to see it soon.

And here are today's pics:

Day 22 - Results show

It's day 12 of MS (end of the first round), 11 of the shred - can't believe the group shred is almost over. I am so excited about the things Adam has in store for us in the future, though, because this experience has really been indescribable and I want others to have the chance to participate in it, as well as to continue in it myself. I still have not gotten around to everyone else's blog since I got back, but I'm sure they all feel the same because we have really gotten a great bond between us in such a short period of time.
So today is the last day of round 1, a rest day, and one where I am allowed a reward meal. I was conflicted about this earlier when I looked at my daily sheet because I still wasn't feeling that great about Saturday's food intake and wondered if I should just count that as my reward meal and skip it today. Then I did my weigh and measure and was even more hesitant to have the reward meal. But then I decided to look up and get an idea just how bad that food I ate that day was, just a ball park, so I know the extent of the damage, and you know what? It really wasn't that bad. Again with the blowing things up in your mind. It kind of goes along with what Sammy and I had talked about a while back when we cheat and then feel like the whole day is blown so we just go buck wild and give up on that day. If we were to stop at that one thing, the day could really be saved. And since I had been good overall, I think that really saved me on Saturday because once I looked up the fat content of the things I was feeling guilty about, the total for the day was still only about 40g of fat and I am supposed to stay under 30 but really how bad is that in the grand scheme of things? Not that bad. So I have let that whole scenario go and I will have my reward meal tonight but I'm not sure what it will be yet. Probably not even something that crazy because I don't have anything I'm really craving and I have not been 100% the rest of the time so I do want to make up for that a little. Plus it's Monday and I have my meeting tonight so it's not like we can go out to dinner or anything. I wish I could save up my reward meal for later but I don't want to mess with the nutrient rotation and the meal is put specifically in this place on this day for a reason.
So anyway, here are the measurements for today. I am disappointed because I did not lose weight (maybe 1/2 a pound) but I think that I lost fat because my measurements are down a little so that is what I am hoping. I have not tested my BF because my meter is extremely inconsistant so I'll just have to hope. Here we go:

Weight: 159 (loss of .5 lbs this week, 7 lbs overall) - this is a maybe, my scale is not digital so I can't be sure but I'm going with it

Bicep: 11.75" (loss of 0" this week, .25" overall) actually I realized today that duh I have two arms so my overall total is .5"
Chest: 35.5" (loss of 0" this week, 1" overall)
Waist: 29.5" (loss of .5" this week, 1.5" overall)
Stomach: 32.75" (loss of .25" this week, 1.75" overall)
Hips: 39.25" (loss of .25" this week, 1.75" overall)
Butt: 42.25" (loss of .25" this week, 1.25" overall)
Thigh: 25.75" (loss of .25" this week, .75" overall) and again I have two legs so overall total is really 1.5"

This brings my overall loss total to 9.25" and 7 lbs.
I was feeling a little disappointed at my stats but looking at them now actually it's not bad, I am pretty hard on myself. I guess the fact that I was down 3 lbs after fruit day and then went back up upset me a little but for heaven's sake I only ate fruit all day of course I'm going drop a lot of weight for that one day. And now when I just did my pics I still feel pretty good abou tmy progress. I need to ease up on myself geez. Anyway, I have got to go but I will be on everyone else's blog later on today to check up. See ya!

Comparison pics for my first three weeks:

Day 21 - Getting back in the groove

Well yesterday was day 11 of MS, 10 of the shred, and it was kind of strange. I didn't set my alarm becuase I wanted to catch up on some sleep but I still woke up at 8am and I felt pretty good so I just got up. For some reason I thought that it was a rest day so I plan to exercise right away, and just did some computer work, etc until Jeff got up so I could see what his plans were for the day. He wanted waffles and bacon for breakfast so I made that and ate a waffle with one piece of bacon. I'm not real sure what I was thinking at this point, obviously not really thinking at all, I was just concerned with spending some time at home with him after being away and I guess I was just tired of eggs but in reality it wasn't that bad, only 5g of fat or so. But I just totally blanked or something, it was strange. Anyway, I went to church and when I got home figured I would check my MS notes to see what I had coming up and then realized that I was supposed to do both HIIT and supersets. Oops. So I decided I would do it later on in the day, mid afternoon or something. I had turkey chili and pineapple for lunch and then spent some time updating this blog and so forth. Around 3 Jeff asked me if I was going to spend some time with him watching football so I stopped typing and went to watch the games. The Colts played - and lost :), don't even get me started - at 4 so by the time that game was over I had eaten anther bowl of chili and some more pineapple for dinner and it was around 7:30. Then I realized that I had to do some business calls so I got my contacts together and did that until 9. So here it is, 9pm and I still had not done my workout. I was beginning to worry because I felt like I had really messed up with the potato wedges the night before and the food today, and now I had not exercised, letting all kinds of negative thoughts go through my head. So I just finally turned that voice in my head off and said, hey, I have to get my workout in and I can make up for the other things in the next round. No need to mess up further. So at 9:30 or so there I was, in the basement, doing my workout. I was so so so glad I did it, although somehow I hurt my neck - have no idea how that happened. But I did all the weight I was supposed to do and the HIIT. I will say that the supersets were pretty tough heart rate wise. What I mean is, I felt like I was doing cardio more so than with any of the other types of training and I was just lifting weights. I guess it was a combination of the fact that it was the end of the day so I didn't have a full tank anyway, plus the supersets were one right after another, making it be more like cardio. So when it came time for the HIIT, that was really pushing myself, but I got it done and felt much better. Exercise makes such a difference. And when I really think about it, the food wasn't really bad because like I said the waffle was only about 5g of fat, and the chili was homemade turkey with beans and veggies so it really didn't have much fat at all. I guess I felt worse about the carb content than anything but I was still under in fat and calories so not that big of a deal I think. I really can make things bigger in my head than they are for real. It is not good. I guess we all do that. Anyway, results are in my next post for this morning so I'll get on to that....
Here's the pics from today:

REWIND - Day 20 - Coming home!

Saturday, 11/3/07 - Day 10 of MS, 9 of shred

This day was just HIIT so that was pretty easy to get done, although 6am came even earlier this day. And it was pretty chilly outside but I had to exercise out on the balcony because there were 6 other people in the condo who were sleeping. Again I followed the same procedure as I had done for the other days as far as my food intake went, until lunch. We got on the road about 3:30pm and I was very tired but felt good about the trip. Then things kind of went downhill. Only a little, but what happened was the other people in the car were hungry pretty soon after we left and I wasn't yet so they went to Arbys and I didn't eat anything. So of course when it came to dinner time I was hungry before any of them. I felt bad about asking to stop just for me, so we went to the closest thing to save on time and it ended up being a KFC. Fried chicken again. Again I took off the skin but I did have potato wedges which I know were in no way on my plan but I was honestly just trying not to be a pain in the butt to everyone and I was hungry for some carbs. I felt guilty about that for a while but then I said, you know, what's done is done and I made that choice with no one twisting my arm so I'll make up for it. It was so much better than the downward spiral of the past. I got home about 1am but it was daylight savings time so I had an extra hour of sleep to make up for that. Business trip finished. I could have done better overall but compared to usually feeling like I gained five pounds when I come back from one of those trips I was doing pretty well. I still worked out and took my vitamins, the waking up early thing was a big win, and I ate really as well as could be expected for this being my first go-round with MS. It's like Adam was saying about progressive discipline. I'm sure the next time I am faced with similar circumstances I will be able to make even better decisions and they won't be as hard. Also, with this experience behind me I can prepare better for the next one too. So no guilt, just learning, growing, and moving on and up!
On the road pic #2 (better):

REWIND - Day 19 - Did I wake up?

Friday, 11/2/07 - Day 9 of MS, 8 of shred

Of course I got up! 6am bright eyed and bushy tailed (well, neither, actually, but awake none the less) I took my daily photo and did my muscle rounds on my upper body with the resistance bands. It worked out pretty well I think. Plus I was able to relax and take my time getting ready since I was up early. It was a big win for me since I had 6 1/2 hrs of sleep and I'm no good on less than 8 usually. But it was important enough to me and that's the key. I had my protein shake after the workout but I didn't have many choices as to what I ate all day - the meals were served there, but I just eliminated things that were too much fat and lived with the rest. There was dessert at lunch and dinner and I didn't eat either and really didn't have that hard a time resisting it. And dinner was a buffet with lots of bad choices on it so I just had a chicken breast (which was fried but I took the skin off of it) and veggies. Oh and one hush puppy about the size of a quarter. So that was my little treat but I think I did pretty good. Since I wasn't the one cooking I'll never know exactly what was in the more innocent seeming things but oh well can't do anything about that, you know? I do know that I didn't get enough water or protein but I survived. I wasn't able to get internet access the day I arrived (and had no time) so I was a day behind e-mailing my photo in to Adam. I was determined to get it to him somehow so after much trial and error, three different computers, and four different locations, I got him a two very rough photos that were passable until I got back. I was up until 12:30 that night because of that so I was very tired but glad that I didn't compromise as it would have been easy to do on both my food commitment and my photo. So another day in the books.
Here's my on the road pic (not good!)

REWIND - Day 18 - Travelling!

So this was Thursday 11/1/07 - Day 8 of MS, 7 of the shred
I was up at 5 so that I could get in my workout before I had to pack and leave for my trip by 7:30. I was pretty proud of myself even for that little victory that I got up and did my workout because I knew I should do it and I would have no other time that day, even though I was up late the night before and tired. Enough whining. It was the first session of muscle rounds and I really enjoyed it but I was definitely working hard. It was all lower body which worked out really well because I could do more weight while I still was at home whereas I used resistance bands for my upper body while traveling. This day also started the 5 day low fat part of the nutrition so I was a little unsure how that would go while away since I didn't have control over what I was served. I had a protein shake as soon as I got up because I really needed the protein before I worked out. Then I was running late by the time I got ready so I ended up having a slim fast shake for breakfast. While on the road, we stopped at a Subway so I had a wrap there that was low fat and fairly low carb. The dinner that night was the first event so I had no control over that one - it was roast beef with mashed potatoes and veggies. They also served a salad and bread. I skipped the potatoes and the bread but did have the salad with italian dressing. Overall I feel I did pretty good. I had to eat the roast beef even though it was red meat because I really needed some more protien and it was pretty lean so hopefully not too much fat. We were up until 11:30 so it was tough to set the alarm for 6am but classes started at 9 and I needed to get my workout in so that's what I planned to do and went to bed committed to giving up sleep in favor of the workout. Tune in to the next day's post to see if I really did get up on time and work out....

I did want to answer the questions that Adam posted on his blog for this day because I think they are really good. Here they are:
What has surprised you the most so far?
Lots of things....how easily I have been able to follow the program, how supportive everyone has been, how well everyone has stuck to it so far, how much I've learned, how hard it is to eat nothing but fruit all day (ha ha) but I think the MOST has been how satisfying it has been to flip that switch from daily guilt trips to being proud of my (and other's) accomplishments and that it really wasn't as hard as I made it to be in my mind - I wish this would have happened sooner!
What are your own personal milestones so far?
I have lost 6 lbs and 6+ inches, I can see a difference in my stomach and back in my pics, I have posted (nearly) every day and done the workouts as listed every day
What victories have you posted so far?
My main victory has been over my own negative thoughts about myself
What challenges have you faced and overcome so far?
Actually I haven't really had many challenges, at least not large ones, just the daily battle so far (as of day 18), but the greatest one has been getting through this business trip and there will be more about that later...
See you soon!
Here's the pics:

REWIND - Day 17 - The Day of Fruit!

So I thought I would do each day as a separate post just for clarity's sake, plus then people can comment on the individual days if they want to and it will be easier to understand what people are referring to. Also, I might not be able to catch up on them all at the same time so here goes....

Wednesday was 10/31/07 - Day 7 of MS, 6 of the shred. It was the all fruit day. I was looking forward to it after 5 days of no carbs but to my surprise, it was really tough. First thing I had a banana and really liked that, then later on I had an apple and some grapes. By the time I got to the grapes, they tasted really really sweet because I had had nothing sweet in so long. It was kind of weird. By 2 pm I was craving something salty so bad it was rough. I have never really been much of a sweets person anyway, definitely more into salt, so this was getting really difficult. So I decided to cook up a banana (sliced and cooked with just a little Pam until soft and beginning to brown) and eat it that way so I could salt it. Sounds weird but it really helped out with the craving and got me through the afternoon. I didn't really feel bad or tired like I have heard some people say, I was just always hungry it seemed like, I definitely couldn't get full, and sick of the sweet taste of everything. For dinner I made a fruit smoothie of kiwi, pineapple, and strawberries with ice just to change the texture and cut the sweetness some, plus hopefully fill me a little more. It was pretty good and I made it through. Way different then I anticipated, though, so a learning experience. It was also a rest day from exercise so I didn't have to do anything strenuous so I guess that helped as well. I spent the day working and then getting ready for my trip, then in the evening it was Halloween so I passed out candy to the kids. Let me tell you I didn't even want any after all the sweet all day long, although the chocolate smelled good it was still not a temptation. So note to self if I'm going to be around a lot of candy - make it a fruit day because I so didn't want any. One interesting way to handle that. I was going to upload the pics for that day but blogger is again giving me trouble so maybe it will let me later...
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Okay, here we are:

Day 16 - Ahhh the soreness

Yes today was all about the soreness. In a good way. I know I did my workout correctly at least. My calves are still sore from 2 days ago and my quads and triceps are sore from yesterday. All I had was HIIT today but it was tough. Plus I found out after I had already done it that I misinterpreted the directions and did twice as much as I was supposed to do! Oops! Well extra cardio is always helpful but boy my legs did not like it. Then I had Jujitsu tonight. So right now I can barely move. I think tomorrow I will be paying for this but it is a rest day so perfect timing. I am so enjoying this MS plan, it was made for me! I can't wait until tomorrow for some fruit, though, I have been extrememly low carb and today was no carb so it is a welcome change!
Just went around to everyone's blog and checked the progress - we as the Shredder Council are kicking some serious fat outta here!! It is so great to be a part of this I am so glad I decided to join up! Thanks all for the encouragement and kind words so far. I will be checking up again tomorrow but will be out of town until Sunday after that so don't be alarmed if I'm not commenting or replying to your comments for a few days. Just giving you all the heads up! I'll catch up when I get back and I'll still be e-mailing my pics to Adam (not quite sure how yet but it WILL get done)! See you all soon! Here's my pics for today, and Suzette, this smile's for you :) It's still little but it will get bigger!

Day 15 - Stats!

Well I already wrote alot this morning as you may have noticed so I am just going to say that today was another great day. The last low carb day of the plan so tomorrow is all protien. The workout was fabulous today but my calves are really sore from yesterday so the leg work was difficult. But in a good way. I love the workouts on this plan!! So I did the weigh and measure thing today for my week 2, so here it is:

Weight: 159.5 (loss of 1.5 lbs this week, 6.5 lbs overall)

Bicep: 11.75" (loss of .25" this week and overall)
Chest: 35.5" (loss of .5" this week, 1" overall)
Waist: 30" (loss of 0 this week, 1" overall)
Stomach: 33" (loss of 0 this week, 1.5" overall)
Hips: 39.5" (loss of .5" this week, 1.5" overall)
Butt: 42.5" (loss of .5" this week, 1" overall)
Thigh: 26" (loss of .25" this week, .5" overall)

Maybe I was a little tight with the tape last week since I didn't lose at all in some areas but I still lost 2 more inches this week, bringing the grand total to 6.75" which corresponds to the pounds lost pretty closely, huh? Interesting...well, until tomorrow, and here's today's pics:
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Okay, well, I was editing the pics to post and found out something interesting...I had only been comparing the "fronts" each week and was a little disappointed but I wanted to check the side views and YEAH! I can really see a difference. Then I checked the back and YEAH x2!! also a difference. However, blogger won't let me upload them just now so I'll have to leave you in suspense for a little while until I can beat it into submission :)
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Ooooookay here we go:

Integrity

This message took a lot out of me and at the same time really lifted me up writing it so I hope all of you who have been following my blog read it, take it in, and let me know what you think about it. Feel free to agree or disagree, I am interested in how others see or do not see this in their own lives. I know it's a little long, so read when convenient. Please comment!


I was listening to my daily inspiration today (Joyce Meyer) and the subject was integrity. At first I was kind of disappointed because, of all the things I need to work on in my life, I really don't feel like my integrity is an issue. Not to sound high and mighty or anything, but I have learned many lessons about being truthful from when I was young and at some point I just decided that honesty was always the best policy and from then on I have held to that pretty well.
So I almost turned it off but then I figured I would listen anyway because usually there is something good in there even if it isn't what I thought it would be and, of course, there was! (Hello God!) It talked about how integrity isn't just being honest but really more about being honest with yourself and true to what you know is right. I think that a lot of people have trouble with that, including myself. Sure, we all think we are decent, honest, people, but do we realize that how we feel about ourselves is, I believe, directly related to the number of compromises we make every day on what we know we should do versus what we actually choose to do. It certainly is for me.
It got me thinking about some of the other issues I am having in my life and how I have been trying to figure out how I got where I am in my business, finances, and overall self-esteem, and how I am always letting myself down, beating myself up, and letting myself down again for beating myself up, on and on...and BAM! it hit me - I was compromising my integrity by knowing what I should be doing and not doing it, just in little things, things no one but myself even knows about, but doing it EVERY SINGLE DAY. Over and over again. And the little things are so important because you make choices constantly every day and if you continue to make the wrong choices, against what you believe or say to yourself that you are or are not going to do, it slowly erodes your self worth little by little - like sandpaper on your soul. How does erosion happen? One little piece of dirt at a time, and before you know it, your house falls in the ocean. I know that's a little deep for a plain little blog like this, on a Monday morning no less, but I think it really important to say and really hit home for me because of this weight loss journey I have started.
You see, I have been struggling in a lot of other areas of my life besides my weight and it has really killed my confidence. I have alluded to that in other posts but have never really given any details, partly because I think that dwelling on the negative will increase the negative so I try to not talk about it much. The reality is that I was (am) hiding from a lot of those feelings (thus the name of the blog) because I just don't know what to do about them and I have become really frustrated trying to solve my own problems. I decided to let God do the work and just step back for a while and stop the self analysis. But I did know that a big part of my problem was my weight because it really really really REALLY makes me unhappy. I don't care that other people say I look great and I have nothing to worry about, or even roll their eyes like I'm some size 4 stick saying I'm fat just for the attention. I am simply good at covering it up. I wear the right clothes for my body style and wear good makeup and have trendy hair to draw attention to my face. It works. I know how I look in a mirror without clothes on (sorry for the visual) and I know how I used to look and it makes me sick. Not to say that it couldn't be worse because for sure it could be but I spent a lot of my life unhappy about how I looked and then I finally got where I wanted to be and then I lost it all. Talk about letting yourself down and beating yourself up. I specialize in that. I am positive on the outside, upbeat to others, and have an overall positive outlook on life, but I am VERY negative when it comes to my inner thoughts about myself. I wouldn't even want to be near someone who treated me the way I treat myself. Why do we let ourselves get away with that? I have been working on that, but it is something NO ONE knows about me. Not my husband, not my sister, not my best friend. Now I am releasing it into cyberspace! I know some of you have been in the same position mentally and we all have different breaking points. For me it has been brewing all this last year and finally I said enough.
So, anyway, back to the subject which is to say that the first thing I decided to tackle was my weight while I let God work on my other problems. That is how I came back to Adam's blog and then on this crazy train we are calling the "group shred" :) I mean that in the most positive way, I love this, and that's, again, what I am trying to get at. I found that once I finally put my foot down and said "That's enough!", cleaned up my eating, and started working out, my self esteem has really surged (ha ha ha you know like "metabolic surge"...okay, dumb joke). And I didn't really know why I felt so good doing this program other than I remembered that I really do love exercise and lifting weights and it does release positive chemicals in your brain, but more than that, it came down to INTEGRITY.
I am finally doing what I have been telling myself (and, incidentally, what God has been telling me) to do and my integrity has been set right. I think when we continue to know what we should do and what we deep down want to be doing but give ourselves permission to compromise, our integrity slips away little by little and we really begin to dislike ourselves. And being around someone you dislike all day (namely yourself) really steals your joy. I mean, maybe all of you out there have already figured this out but for me it has been a revelation, finally understanding why I was feeling so bad before and so much better now.
Don't get me wrong, I have a LOOOOOOONNNNNNNGGGGGGG way to go, in many areas of my life, but I think these little victories of continuing to eat right, say no to the bad, say yes to the good, exercising, and being accountable for what I have said I am going to do, are beginning the repair of my soul. When I are about to make any decision, I always have two voices (at least!) in my head. I usually call them the angel and the devil (like in cartoons when someone has them pop up on each shoulder, you know?) and they do battle for what I am actually going to do in that situation. Sometimes the angel speaks louder. Usually the devil would, and he would win the argument. Again, I'm not talking big things, just those Do I eat that piece of candy? Do I stop for fast food? Do I really feel like working out? Should I make those phone calls I promised myself I would make but no one knows I was going to so do I really have to? kinds of decisions. I think those are much harder. Big decisions are somewhat more cut and dry (dried? whatever, you know what I mean). There are lots of places in this world to get advice on the bigger questions of life. But who can tell you if you should stop at the fast food place? Only yourself. And if you choose against yourself, your integrity (and self-esteem) goes by the wayside. Someone once said that if you keep letting things slide, they are all sliding somewhere, and eventually you're going to run up against that pile. Well I sure did and let me tell you, digging out of that pile is a lot worse than just doing the right thing to begin with.
So lately, since I have started this journey, the angel has been speaking louder. Or maybe I have just been listening to her more. And I love her. The angel rocks! Because the angel is me. The holy spirit me, the REAL me, the me that has been patiently waiting to get out, voicing her opinion all along, just wanting to be heard and having her volume turned up. And that devil? Well, he's really The Devil, and he'll steal all of our dreams if we let him - one tiny, sandpapering, decision at a time.

Day 14 - I disappeared! (but not really)

Wow I can't believe it has been two weeks already. For once in my life this weight loss plan has seemed to fly by! It is day 14 of my total journey but day 3 of the group shred and I am obviously absent from the front page of Adam's blog. I would like to apologize to all my fans for this ;) I am still with us, though, I just didn't get my pic in time before Adam had to go to sleep and I totally understand. I will be back in full color showing my face tomorrow!
Today was still a low carb day and I did well. I haven't even been counting carbs or calories but I feel like I am fine because I hardly have any carbs and I don't even eat that much so I must be under on calories. Maybe that's not a good policy but until my results don't reflect it, it's working for me and it's much less pressure than counting everything. That is what MS talks about as well so I think I am fine. I even went out to breakfast with my family today and when they were all ordering lots of good breakfast carbs I had an egg white omlette with crab and asparagus with a side of squash. It was great! I had a salad for lunch but I did have the toppings off a slice of pizza later on when everyone was over for football. But I didn't have the crust so although that's not the best nutritionally at least I still stayed low carb and that's the most important thing to me now.
I am on day 4 of MS (so many day numbers to keep track of!) so tomorrow is my last day of low carb and then I go into the single nutrient days. That will be interesting. For my workout I did lactic acid training which was CRAZY but really good. I could hardly lift my arms all day! I'll be feeling that later I am sure. The only thing about it was that I was not happy with the back exercise that I did because my arms fatigued before my back did so I need to do something different next time I do that set of body parts. The HITT for today was interesting as well, only 5 minutes long because it was the first time at sub-maximal level. Very cool way to do cardio and it is so much faster than sweating it out for 45 minutes of tae bo!! Tomorrow is the same except different body parts for the weights so I should be good and sore by Tuesday just in time for Jujitsu :)
One thing I am thinking about that is coming up is a business trip on Thurs - Sat so I am not yet sure how I will be getting in my workout when I am there but I will figure it out because skipping is not an option. I'll just have to get creative! Eating clean will also be harder there because they have really extravagant meals there always with dessert but I have so much momentum now I don't think they will be as much of a temptation as it normally would be. Those days will be low fat days so I will have to make some careful choices because fat hides in restaurant prepared meals a lot more than carbs I think. Well, I'll see to that when I get there. For now, I am taking it one day at a time and it's going well.
Tomorrow is weigh and measure day so I hope I have made more progress!! I certainly feel good about it so I really think it should be impressive. Well, to me at least.

Last but NEVER least, I want to send a shout out to all my fellow group shredders who have been sending me comments and mentioning things in their blogs, etc. It is so great to have this group together encouraging each other when I am so new to this! You all have been really great and it's only the beginning. Really I am thinking that even after the 14 days, it will still just be the start of something really strong between all of us. Wouldn't it be cool for us to all keep going and then we could have these great success stories to share with the world! Thanks all and keep up the great work so far!!!

Here's today's pics even though they didn't make it to the group shred (sorry Adam!)

Day 12/13 - Busy busy busy!

Shooooo! Yesterday was a blur so I didn't get to post anything but I was still shredding! To start at the beginning, it was Day 2 of the RTP group shred and I did fat loss circuit training for my workout in the morning. I had MUCH LESS energy than I did on Day 1 plus I was sore, too, but I still did the workout as I was supposed to. I am still working out a few kinks with how much weight I should use, sometimes I guess too much and sometimes too little, but I'm getting there. I again did running in place with my striking practice for the 40 sec intervals but it was definitely tougher. But I finished the workout in 30 min and was on my way so that was good. Then I was in Baltimore all day. I went to see Joel Osteen. It was excellent - the title of his message was "Don't let negative thoughts steal your dreams". It couldn't have been a better time to hear that!! Plus it was raining all day so travel was worse than usual so it made for a long afternoon. When we finally got home, I had to go right to my sister's house to pick up the nephews for a Halloween party I was taking them to. I took them home so we could all put on our costumes and then went on to the party. That was 2 hrs long and then (still raining) I took them home and met my friends at another Halloween party. We were there for a few hours (got in some line dancing so I had a little extra cardio there!) and then some of them came back to our house to party for a while and ended up being there until about 3am. Thus, no time to blog and I didn't get up unil 11 am today but it is my rest day so that worked out. Good news is, I still ate clean all day and although I was at 2 Halloween parties, I didn't have any chocolate or candy at all! Plus between the party and the after-party at my house, I also did not have any alcohol at all. I was just not interested in that temporary...whatever feeling that you get with alcohol...that would ruin my shred and make me feel guilty. I have done so well these last 12 days it would have really just blown it all out even if I cheated a little. I am not allowing myself any unscheduled cheats. So I just laughed and hung out with everyone who was drinking and had fun anyway. Not that I have ever been that big of a drinker but lately it has just not held any desire for me, especially with making you feel worse the next morning, too. Totally not worth it. So, that's what went on yesterday, it's cool how this plan fits so well into my daily life already.
Today so far has been easy since it is a rest day but I am still on low carb because that goes on for 5 days and it is only day 3. I need to do some better shopping for more convenience foods that are low carb because on the weekend I don't want to have to cook everything usually. I have gotten by for now but I am running out of things to eat that are quicker. Or at least I need to plan better and cook some things ahead of time. I'll figure it out. So I'll leave you with my day 12 pics (day 2 of GS) in which I still see no difference, but at least the scale is different. I'll be back tomorrow with Lactic Acid Training. It's an adventure....

Day 11 - I FEEL GREAT!!

Well Day 1 of MS was great!! I loved the workout and it was so great to get back to lifting weights. I forgot how much I liked it. It was kinda funny, though, because you are supposed to do 40 sec of cardio between each set, right, so since I do all my work at home in my basement all I had for cardio was a jumprope. Well apparently I forgot how to jump rope because I was totally spastic trying to use that thing. Part of the problem honestly was that the ceiling was low but my husband seems to be able to do it all the time fine down there but for some reason I was totally horrible at it. It was comedic if you were watching I'm sure. So I abandoned that idea after about....40 sec and decided to just jog in place while doing my striking practice from Jujitsu. Unfortunately our heavy bag wasn't up or it would have been really good but just doing it in the air was good too and really was good cardio. It was cool because it's not something you could do continuously for 30 or 45 min as regular cardio (at least not me, it would be too hard but also boring) but in 40 sec increments it was PERFECT!! I had a blast. Also funny, though, was that it took me 20 min to set up and 30 min to do the workout. It was the first time so it took a while for me to decide on the amount of weight I was going to use and all so it won't take that long every time but I spent almost as much time setting up as I did working out! Then tonight I taught Jujitsu so I did a little more work since we do abs and pushups hard there too so I got a little extra core and chest/shoulder work that I hadn't planned on. A little sore now, but I'm sure I'll live.
As far as food intake goes today, I think I did pretty well on low carb. Only problem was that I ate out twice today. Don't even know how that really happened because both were unplanned but hopefully I made the best choices I could. I can't really check the carb count but I had eggs for breakfast so I know that was fine, a cobb salad for lunch with grilled chicken so I think that was pretty good, my main concern was the dressing but it was some kind of avocado ranch so it couldn't have been that bad. The main problem was dinner which was chinese food. I got chicken with broccoli but it had a teryaki kind of sauce on it that had a sweeter taste so I'm sure it had some sugar or sugar-like ingredient in it. But with having hardly any all day, I'm sure that that little bid of sauce didn't have over 30 carbs since that's the daily goal. And really the plan says we can have as many as 50 so it definately wasn't that much. I didn't count calories because I wanted to see how I did just with carbs and I think it was pretty good. I had planned on eating 5 meals and I guess I did - 3 meals and 2 snacks but I really wasn't hungry because I have been eating so little lately anyway. I had my protien shake right after my workout and had my supplements and then over the course of the day drank about 3 liters of water which was good but 4 was my goal so I need to work on that.
Now on to the big news...I was mentioned in Adam's video today!! I feel famous. Ha ha ha. Well, all I had to do was sign up for the group shred but still it was funny to hear him say everybody's name in the video. Cool! We are all going to do so well I am excited that there are 20 people all doing the same 14 days. So it all starts tomorrow - be there! My workout will be the same as today except the weights are different muscles but I'm sure it will be a blast! My pics for today are actually going to be the day 1 pics for the group shred because timing wise I don't trust myself getting them cropped and sent in time which is 9am here for me. So they will follow my first 14 days of MS which is cool. So here are today's pics - day 11 overall but Day 1 of Mission 1: