Day 67 - Progress!

Thanks to everyone who has been checking in on me, sorry I have not been doing much updating here. Things are just busy, as I'm sure they are for all of you as well. I have been doing well on my program, some days better than others, but that's the way life is, right? I am finally seeing results, and I think that if I had been taking a daily picture like before I would have seen them earlier, but oh well. We took pictures in the beginning and again for a progress check after 2 months and I saw a lot of difference. Still not up to posting them yet, I am so embarrassed about how bad my befores are. But I am glad to be making progress and I can see it now on the scale as well as in some of my clothes. Yahoo!! According to my latest set of measurements, I have lost 6 pounds and 12.5 cm which is about 5 inches all around, and have gained 4 cm (1.5 in) in my shoulders. The shoulders thing is kind of weird, I have never done measures on that before, but I swear it goes up each time. There wasn't any fat on my shoulders and my arms have a lot more definition so I am going to say that it is muscle gain even though that's kind of a lot for that. We'll see, perhaps I am a little off on my measurements, that is a hard area to get just right and I am not used to doing it in centimeters. Anyway, I also have been using an Omron bf scale and even though it is not totally accurate, it does show trends, and that has shown that I have lost 2.4% bf. So by my calculations, that means that almost all of the weight lost has been fat. Hopefully that is true, I have for sure gained muscle so I don't know how that works since my lean body mass number is the same, but whatever. I am just glad to have visual and numerical progress. Some of my clothes are fitting much better, I am waiting until I have lost a significant amount before I try the jeans on because it is so depressing to not be able to fit into them.
My goal for the first 2 months of the LEP was to lose 12 lbs and 5% bf, and I did not hit that, but still I am happy with my progress because I feel like it is more permanent and that is more important to me than the numbers. I got almost exactly halfway to my goal, and to be honest, the first 3 weeks we were doing a lot of background and prep type things so we didn't do a real hard workout or have a lot of nutrition changes yet. So I guess looking back I should not have been that upset about not seeing results right away. The results I have now are really over about 6 weeks and that's not too bad. Am I rationalizing? Hope not. Anyway, the fight against fat continues...
So, things are good for now. I appreciate the comments, I do see them, again, I just don't get here often to respond or update. So hope all of you are doing well in your journeys, be back soon!

Day 45 - Still here!

I know, I know, I haven't updated in quite a while, but I have spent most of my internet time on the PN member boards and I try to limit my web time, so I haven't been back here to update. As if anyone is paying attention anyway! But it doesn't matter, this still keeps track for me. So the last 30 days have brought 2 more nutrition rules: eat starchy carbs only after exercise, and eat lean protein at every meal. I have been doing well with these. Actually, all of the habits so far I have been pretty compliant with, and finally feel like I am making them real HABITS not just a diet. That's what I signed up for so that's good.
However, I have been struggling...sorry, challenged by the workouts!! I don't know what it is but suddenly I hate exercise. I thought by now it would come back to me, but most of the time I just have to drag myself down to the basement or outside to do my workout, whether it is cardio or weights. I am better at the weights, and now that our workouts are about 30 min instead of 1 hr I am doing better, but cardio is so hard to make myself do. I don't know how to make myself like it better, there's just no cardio activity I truly enjoy. I just push through it to get it over with. And sometimes I skip it. That is not good.
Last week I did all of my workouts like I was supposed to, both of my cardio (EEW) sessions, and did Jujitsu, but by Monday I was so not into it that I skipped that workout and the EEW yesterday, replacing it kind of with Jujitsu but not really because I spent most of my time teaching not working out. I did my weights today so I am back on track but man I wish it was as easy as it used to be. Don't know what's missing...
Anyway, the workouts are good and I do most of them so I'll just keep plugging away. The worst thing though is that I haven't lost any weight. 45 days in and I have lost maybe 2 lbs, which are those negotiable 2 lbs that come and go as they please anyway. I am so disappointed. For the first few weeks on the program, JB said to not expect weight loss, but I have really changed my habits drastically and to not see a change is very disheartening. I don't think my clothes are looser and if anything I have less energy not more than before. I don't get it. I contacted Krista my coach to see if she could help me with it so she's on the case but I miss the days of dropping 2 lbs a week for sure. But that weight all came back on so maybe I shouldn't wish for that.
But to think, I was eating bagels with cream cheese for breakfast, leftovers or take out for lunch, a decent dinner if I cooked, but at least twice a week and sometimes as often as 4 times a week eating out. And when we went to restaurants, all bets were off - whatever I felt like having, I had, and since I was depressed most of the time, I usually ate according to my emotions not my stomach. So you can guess where that got me. And I was not exercising at all. I did some jumping jacks, push ups, and sit ups at Jujitsu, threw a couple of throws, and that was basically it. So how can I go from that to 2x per week cardio, 3x per week weights, starchy carbs only once a day, clean food the rest of the time, only 2 reward meals per week, and not see any change? I do not get it. I must be missing something.
I guess I have seen one change, and that is in my mood. I am much less depressed than I was, but I feel like that's a result of just the decision to change and following through on daily activity rather than the actual activity if you know what I mean. I felt directionless before and now I have a goal and a plan so that alone could be what has brought me out of the funk. So again I say, I don't get it. Perhaps Krista will find some answers for me. I hope so, I really want to make lasting changes not just in my habits, but in my body too! Hopefully the next update will show some progress!

Day 18 - Great workout!

Wow I totally almost bailed on my workout today. I missed it this morning, let myself go back to sleep when I should have gotten up, then it was raining and I felt crappy (mentally) and wanted to get work over with so I didn't do it then. After work I had to fix dinner, etc and round about 8pm I was really looking for a further excuse not to do it, but I finally talked myself into just getting something done and what do you know? I ROCKED IT! I don't know if I am just getting more used to them or because I added weight and it felt good or what but this was my best workout thus far on the program. I remember when I used to love lifting and so far this month I have had to drag myself down there every day to do my workout and was glad when I was finished. Not that I wasn't glad tonight, because it was tiring, but glad in a proud way, not in a "that's finally over" way. Maybe I was just kind of going through the motions before or I am just getting more energy or something but I am glad for whatever it is. I added weight and it was fantastic! Yay me!
As far as nutrition goes, we still haven't had any further direction other than taking vitamins and fish oil, so I can say that I have been compliant with that. I have been trying to keep my carbs only after workouts, but since I didn't work out this morning and I didn't have anything else available for breakfast, I still had a whole wheat bagel. And with dinner I had a piece of wheat toast as well and that was before my workout. Well, I am eating good foods at least, no junk, and for now I'm not going to overthink it. It's a journey not a destination.
Mindset-wise, we had a really good article on the PN site today that I thought I would share a little about because it was kind of what I have been thinking about anyway but it really put it into a good format. Basically it said that usually when we decide we want to change, and we set goals, we focus on the following two things:
What "pleasure" will you get if you "do" get your goals?
What "pain" will you get if you "don't" get your goals?
Often the more motivating factor is the pain side because most people respond more quickly to pain stimulus than pleasure. But the flip side of the equation that we also must consider is this:
What "pain" will you get if you "do" get your goals?
What "pleasure" will get if you "don't" get your goals?
I thought that was really interesting, because a big thing for me is complacency and procrastination, and answering those second two questions really made me look those bad habits in the face. Hopefully it will help me to recognize when I am falling into destructive patterns in the future because I have considered ahead of time what will be calling to me from the "dark side" when it happens. Because for sure it will. I am now prepared. Hope you all are too!

Day 16 - Checking in

Well with everything else I am doing, updating my blog is going to have to be kind of low on the priority list. Getting in my workout and doing my nutrition habits are at the top so when I can get here I will but right now there isn't a lot to talk about. I failed to keep to anything this past weekend and I am disappointed in that, but my coach just encouraged me to put it behind me and concentrate on getting in the workouts on the weekends first. Right now nutrition is a bonus I think, since I am struggling right now. During the week I am fine, have been doing my workouts and finally got my fish oil in the mail yesterday so I am totally together with that. Need to get things going more smoothly in the morning, though. I was late for work yesterday. But I'll get it all together. Glad they are only giving things to us a little at a time because I would not be able to handle more with all that is going on in my life right now. Don't have a job after the end of the month and I don't know what I am going to do. Stupid economy. Anyway, I will worry about that when there is something I can do about it. For right now, I am applying everywhere I see a job, talking to people, and doing what I can to find something else, there isn't more I can think of to help. God is taking care of the rest I guess. Hopefully.

Day 11 - Starting the habit

Well I have done my workout every day this week so I am pretty proud of myself. It is crazy how we get ourselves out of and into habits. I hope that this time it becomes ingrained enough that it never leaves. I really hate the way my body looks and feels right now. But not much has been happening this week, so I'll just keep to my assignments and trust that change will come. The first nutrition habit we have is to start taking fish oil and a multi. I had to order that online so I haven't been able to apply that habit yet but will when I get the delivery! I am so happy to be taking this one step at a time, that it definitely what I have been doing wrong before. Hope all of you are doing well on your various journeys. Bye!

Day 9 - In the zone

Starting to feel like I am forming a habit of exercise again - YAY! Still have a long way to go but this one step at a time stuff really is what I needed. Past my bedtime now, don't have much else to say except that I hope I can start seeing progress soon. Those before pics are still haunting me...until tomorrow...

Day 8 – One step at a time

I was feeling great this morning, got back on the workout wagon and didn’t kill myself doing so today, but since lunch I have felt like total crapola. I don’t know what it is, I thought at first that I just needed to eat, but even after lunch it came back. Mainly it is a really bad headache, but I am feeling kind of lightheaded also and generally without energy. I don’t know what it is, but it needs to stop. Maybe I just need to go to bed early, but it better not be more than that because I need to get a regular schedule going with my workouts so I can make it a habit. The lesson for today was to make one small change at a time and only focus on that one thing, because if you try to change too much too fast you will fail. I agree with that a lot because that is what I usually do. I am really gung ho and then I burn out, getting overwhelmed. So it is impossible to do that for now because all we have to do is workout daily and check in on the message board. Wednesday we are getting our first nutrition habit, but for now I am happy to just work on getting my workout in since I am even struggling with that. But thankfully I already did it today because if I had not, I would have to skip it since I am feeling so bad. I have to remember that – work out when you can because you never know when something is going to interfere with your ability to do so later on. I guess that’s the reasoning behind doing morning workouts anyway. I am totally not a morning person, but I think morning workouts are best for me since I do get sidetracked. Like all this weekend. So anyway, that’s what happening for today. I hope this freakin headache goes away soon because it is driving me nuts. I just want to lie down in a dark cool room. Probably won’t get to do that but hopefully it will go away despite my going on with my day. Hope all is well with anyone else out there checking in. Have a lovely day.