Day 45 - Still here!

I know, I know, I haven't updated in quite a while, but I have spent most of my internet time on the PN member boards and I try to limit my web time, so I haven't been back here to update. As if anyone is paying attention anyway! But it doesn't matter, this still keeps track for me. So the last 30 days have brought 2 more nutrition rules: eat starchy carbs only after exercise, and eat lean protein at every meal. I have been doing well with these. Actually, all of the habits so far I have been pretty compliant with, and finally feel like I am making them real HABITS not just a diet. That's what I signed up for so that's good.
However, I have been struggling...sorry, challenged by the workouts!! I don't know what it is but suddenly I hate exercise. I thought by now it would come back to me, but most of the time I just have to drag myself down to the basement or outside to do my workout, whether it is cardio or weights. I am better at the weights, and now that our workouts are about 30 min instead of 1 hr I am doing better, but cardio is so hard to make myself do. I don't know how to make myself like it better, there's just no cardio activity I truly enjoy. I just push through it to get it over with. And sometimes I skip it. That is not good.
Last week I did all of my workouts like I was supposed to, both of my cardio (EEW) sessions, and did Jujitsu, but by Monday I was so not into it that I skipped that workout and the EEW yesterday, replacing it kind of with Jujitsu but not really because I spent most of my time teaching not working out. I did my weights today so I am back on track but man I wish it was as easy as it used to be. Don't know what's missing...
Anyway, the workouts are good and I do most of them so I'll just keep plugging away. The worst thing though is that I haven't lost any weight. 45 days in and I have lost maybe 2 lbs, which are those negotiable 2 lbs that come and go as they please anyway. I am so disappointed. For the first few weeks on the program, JB said to not expect weight loss, but I have really changed my habits drastically and to not see a change is very disheartening. I don't think my clothes are looser and if anything I have less energy not more than before. I don't get it. I contacted Krista my coach to see if she could help me with it so she's on the case but I miss the days of dropping 2 lbs a week for sure. But that weight all came back on so maybe I shouldn't wish for that.
But to think, I was eating bagels with cream cheese for breakfast, leftovers or take out for lunch, a decent dinner if I cooked, but at least twice a week and sometimes as often as 4 times a week eating out. And when we went to restaurants, all bets were off - whatever I felt like having, I had, and since I was depressed most of the time, I usually ate according to my emotions not my stomach. So you can guess where that got me. And I was not exercising at all. I did some jumping jacks, push ups, and sit ups at Jujitsu, threw a couple of throws, and that was basically it. So how can I go from that to 2x per week cardio, 3x per week weights, starchy carbs only once a day, clean food the rest of the time, only 2 reward meals per week, and not see any change? I do not get it. I must be missing something.
I guess I have seen one change, and that is in my mood. I am much less depressed than I was, but I feel like that's a result of just the decision to change and following through on daily activity rather than the actual activity if you know what I mean. I felt directionless before and now I have a goal and a plan so that alone could be what has brought me out of the funk. So again I say, I don't get it. Perhaps Krista will find some answers for me. I hope so, I really want to make lasting changes not just in my habits, but in my body too! Hopefully the next update will show some progress!